Breathing New Life into a Dull Relationship

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

I recently had a conversation with my boy Andy. He had been dating Ama Kuma for 5 years. The conversation initially was about the impact of me sharing my journey in the past week. But gradually the conversation shifted and here is what he told me…

“Yo man, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just don’t have that spark in my relationship anymore. I’ve been with Ama for 5 years now, and every year I try to make Valentine’s Day special, but it’s just the same routine. Chocolates, flowers, dinner. It’s boring, man. I feel like I’m just going through the motions.”

Andy went on, “I want to make this year different, but I don’t know how. I mean, I want to make her happy, but I don’t want to do the same thing again. And every time I ask her what she wants, she just says she’s happy with anything.” I could sense the frustration in his voice, and I could relate to it. It’s like, we always try to make the occasion special, but it just ends up being the same thing over and over again.

(At this point, I couldn’t help but think of all the times I’ve been in a similar situation. The struggle to find something unique and meaningful is real!)

But then, I remembered something that had made a huge impact in my own relationship. I told Andy about this experience, and he was all ears. I shared with him about how I had decided to surprise my partner with a makeup kit, wrist watch and a day at the spa. It wasn’t the gifts, really, but that the day was filled with laughter, love, and memories that we still talk about to this day.

It’s not the gifts, it’s the thoughts, emotions and the how behind the gifts. It’s more of the little things than anything else.

(I could tell from the look on Andy’s face that this idea had sparked something in him. The excitement and hope in his eyes was palpable.)

I concluded, “Sometimes, it’s not about how much money you spend or how grand the gesture is. It’s about putting thought and effort into making your partner feel loved and appreciated. It’s about creating a memorable experience together.”

(As Andy walked away, I couldn’t help but smile. I hope that he’ll be able to bring that spark back into his relationship with Ama, and that they’ll be able to create memories that they’ll cherish for a lifetime.)

In a world where relationships can become monotonous and routine, it’s important to remember that it’s the thought that counts. At the end of the day, it’s about making your partner feel loved and appreciated. And who knows, maybe a little creativity and effort could bring that spark back into your relationship.

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